Q: What exactly is the definition of Jiggy?
A: Defining Jiggy is like trying to can sunshine; it cannot be done. It has no
definition, it just exists. For more details on the characteristics of Jiggy,
refer to the State of the Jiggy Address.
Q: What can Jiggy do?
A: True Jiggy can accomplish nearly anything.
However, there are small limitations, which I am still learning.
Again, see the State of the Jiggy Address, for more.
Q: Will Jiggy help me get a girl/boyfriend?
A: Please refer to the State of the Jiggy Address.
Q: Who can be Jiggy?
A: Theoretically anyone can be Jiggy, although I personally have serious doubts about that.
There exists a small group whose Anti-Jigginess is so strong, it acts as a Jiggy Black Hole,
of sorts, where all hopes of Jigginess are futile. These few can never be Jiggy by any
Q: Can I be Jiggy?
A: With the proper training, hopefully you can be Jiggy.
Q: How does one learn to be Jiggy?
A: I am forming a class of non-Jiggy people in my home area to see if Jiggy can be
taught. If it proves successful, I shall spread the Jiggy teachings across
the country, bringing Jigginess to anyone wishing to learn.
Q: Will these Jigginess classes be expensive?
A: The only investment that I ask you to make in these courses is your time -
an investment that pales in comparison to the rewards of attaining the Jiggy.
Q: What makes you so qualified to instruct
the masses on Jigginess?
A: I am, to date, the most Jiggy person in the known world.
Furthermore, I hold a Bachelor of Science in the field of Womanology.
Q: How did you get to be so Jiggy?
A: First of all, I am the culmination of two very very recessive Jiggy genes -
genes said to be linked to extraterrestrial ancestors who came to this earth
in the years prior to the construction of the Great Pyramid. This, in addition
to 19 years spent in the culturing of this Jiggy, has allowed me to attain the
level of Jigginess that I now possess.
Q: Jiggy sounds so powerful...if it were to
fall into the wrong hands, could it be used for evil?
A: That is a concern that I originally had during the development of my Jigginess course:
"what if someone truly unworthy of the Jiggy were to take the class...what would they
do with such incredible power?" Such is the reason I developed such an intensive
application process for the Jiggy training classes - to weed out the naturally Anti-Jiggy.
However, if one of these persons were to slip through the cracks, and attended the Jigginess
class, he/she could never actually use the Jiggy for evil purposes, whereas the Jiggy is a
good Jiggy; a benevolent Jiggy; spreading only joy throughout the world, not pain,
tyranny, and suffering.
Q: Is Viagra a Jigginess pill?
A: Nay, there is no known process in which Jigginess can be distributed. True Jigginess
may only be attained through rigorous training in the ways of the Jiggy.
Q: How does one know when one has attained
A: You will know. Trust me.
Q: Can I put Jiggy on my resume?
A: Yes. Employers are always looking for truly Jiggy people. Be prepared to back up your
Jiggy, though; employers are very fearful of Jiggy frauds.
Q: What is the difference between one who is
"Non-Jiggy" and those who are "Anti-Jiggy"?
A: To be "Non-Jiggy" is not a bad thing, in itself. It simply means that a person does
not possess the Jiggy (or only a very small amount of it). This does not mean that
the person can never achieve true Jigginess, it simply requires hard work. The "Anti-Jiggy",
however, possess no Jiggy whatsoever, nor do they have the capacity to become Jiggy
at any time in the future. Thankfully, to this date, there are only two such people in the
population. These two in unison are enough to stifle the powers of the Jiggy temporarily,
and prolonged exposure can be detrimental to the structural integrity of the Jiggy itself.
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